She Crazier than I Thought

I had just recently moved into the basement of a house in a very suspect area of the big city. It was a basement that was shared with several others. I was lucky because I had the only room with a window, so at least I got some sunlight during the day. But it was at night time that I was able to get my best view of something very sinister and evil. I guess I am admitting I am a peeping Tom. Maybe I was at the beginning but after what I saw I was no longer a peeping Tom but a scared individual. 

​It all started in the spring of this past year. I would lay down in my room and kill the lights and just as I was falling asleep I was awoken by the sound of a old car with no muffler growling by my basement window. The driver would pull up the driveway, then pause for a couple of seconds to open the garage door, rev the engine and drive the car inside. The exhaust from the old beater seeped in through the cracks of my bedroom window. I nearly died every night from carbon monoxide. But on this particular night I decided to look out my window to see who this obnoxious character was, but I couldn't because the garage was behind the fence. I heard the garage door close and the unknown person enter the house.

I stood up on my dresser to get a better view of the house next to me. It's funny because I had been living there for over three months and had only heard a car come and go at night from the house next to me, but had never seen anyone there. Did you ever wonder about your neighbors and what they did when the lights went off and the blinds came down. Did you really know anything about them? Did you ever see anything suspicious that you could not account for? 

Then one night a light went on from the basement window in the house across from me. I closed my drapes and split them to see through. It was a lady who was getting undressed. She was in her 50s, not very attractive, her body was covered with tattoos of the Devil and the Grim Reaper. She looked like a welder from the oil rigs. There was also a man laying naked on the bed, very muscular and attractive. She mounted him and started to ride him. She rode like a wild cowgirl, flinging her hair and moaning and groaning like a beast. Then after about 10 minutes of riding she pulled out a giant machete from under the sheets and in one motion hacked off his head. I jumped down from the dresser in horror. 

I stood there thinking that maybe she saw me, but that was just my mind playing tricks on me. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. It was so brutal and ruthless. About ten minutes later I went back to look through the drapes but the light was off. I heard her back door open and close, then the whining of the garage door. Her car then roared to life and she was gone. She must have taken the body with her to dispose of. I exited my room with a flashlight and shone it in her window. But it was no use as my flashlight was too powerful creating a reflection so strong that I could not see inside. I went back to my room and tried to block out what I saw. I thought about calling the police but reasoned it wasn't any of my business. 

But then a week later she came home late one night and I went back to looking through my drapes. There she was again on top of a hunky male, but this time he was blonde. She did her thing and then again came the knife and with one whack it was off with his head. I shuddered. She was a serial killer. I slowly moved away from the window and got dressed quickly and grabbed the keys to my car. I was playing a hunch that she would go to dispose of the body. I waited in my car and sure enough her garage door opened about ten minutes later. I was parked down the street where it wouldn't be suspicious but where I could still see the garage door. 

She backed out of her driveway and headed south. I waited a few seconds for her to get a head start, then started my engine and drove with my headlights off. I looked at the dashboard light. It was 3:34 am. She then made a series of turns to make sure she wasn't being followed but I didn't bite. I've watched my fair share of detective shows. She drove slightly below the speed limit through the side roads of the city. I continued to keep my distance with the lights off and I ran red light after red light to keep pace. She didn't seem to be suspicious but little did she know that when you drive well below the speed limit it is more suspicious than if you are speeding. 

She then left the city and headed out into the country then turned off the highway and connected on a dirt road still heading south. After she drove for about ten minutes she turned off into a farmyard. It was incredibly hard for me to see where I was going and several times I almost ended up in the ditch. I was driving by feel and could vaguely make out the outlines of the road. I stopped the car about 300 feet away from the farmhouse. Through the illumination of her headlights I could see that the farm was abandoned. She got out of her car and opened a couple of barn doors. She then drove inside. She left her car running likely because if it stalled she didn't want to call a tow truck. I used this opportunity to drive up out of her range so when she left she would not have to drive by me. After about an hour she backed out, closed the barn doors and drove off.

I went to the police. I rode with two homicide detectives to the location where she had driven. They commented on my great memory and that I should consider joining the force and I told them I'd consider it. They told me to wait in the car as they went inside the barn. About ten mintues later they came out and one officer said, "That woman is definitely crazy, we found 15 dismembered bodies of men, but unfortunately we won't be able to lay murder charges against her."

"Why is that?" I said.

"You can't charge someone for dismembering the body of a sex doll."