At my last job I had worked with all sorts of characters, but there was one man who was in his mid twenties that stood above the rest in terms of strangeness. His name was Rodney Defcon. I remember our first meeting.
I was on the salesfloor and I saw someone at the end of my aisle watching me. I turned and there he was grinning like the Joker in Batman. He came walking towards me and stuck out his hand and started laughing as he introduced himself. I immediately noticed that he talked very slowly and I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or if there was something wrong with him.
Over the next few days I was able to figure out that there was something wrong with him that slowed his speech but I didn't know what it was. I started to talk to him more often and noticed that except for his slow speech he appeared to be normal. Then one day I was in the manager's office with my supervisor and he came in with his Joker smile and said, "What's going on, guys?"
I looked at him and said, "Not much."
He continued to stand there smiling and my supervisor finally asked him what he was doing before he worked here as there was a gap in his work history. Rodney then started laughing hysterically and said, "I just got out of jail."
He kept laughing and I asked him what he went to jail for and he said for dealing drugs to a cop. He couldn't stop laughing. We quickly changed the subject and he said that he was in university and majoring in chemistry.
He then got serious and said, "I bet you're wondering why I talk so slow and you probably think I'm an idiot, but I'm not... One day I was riding in the back of a convertible and like a tool I was hanging my head out of the car and not paying attention and there was a tunnel ahead which I didn't see. My head was still hanging out, and as we entered the tunnel my head smacked against it. I was in a coma for six months and when I got out of the coma I couldn't speak normally and I had almost total amnesia. For months I couldn't get a job so I started to deal drugs and that's how I ended up in jail."
We sat there as he kept railing on about his life story and how he was obsessed with watching granny porn but he didn't know why; he said that he only became interested in granny porn after his head injury. We thought this to be strange and we didn't know what to say and then he went into graphic detail about how he used to covertly masturbate in his sock in jail, because if you got caught masturbating in prison you would get a beating. He then told us about the inmates he had be locked up with and their horrible crimes.
A couple of shifts later he was gone and I asked my supervisor why. He told me that Rodney had lied about going to jail for drugs, and was incarcerated for something far more sinister. I asked him what it was and he said that it involved grannies but he couldn't tell me anymore.