The Tale of the One Ton Pole Dancer

​She had started out in the business of restauranteur but as the years marched on times changed and her business became stale. Sales plummeted so she decided it was time for a change. Entertainment she thought was an option so she tried live music. No good. She tried a magician. No good. Real entertainment is what she needed without burning a hole in her purse. Then she realized that most of her clients were men. Older men of a perverted, lonely variety. Then it came to her...

​She changed up the menu a bit, opened up later and stayed opened until 3 a.m. Past 9 p.m. there would be no one under the age of eighteen allowed in the restaurant. The first night she tried her new format was a friday and all of her regulars were there. So when 9 p.m. hit she closed the doors to families and minors. The tv's that were on sports were shut off and she popped in a dvd for the big screen. The men sat back in anticipation and that's when the porno flick came on.The men lapped it up and soon the news spread through the grapevine that the restaurant was showing adult films. Business skyrocketed. 

The busty one as she was known by her patrons always dreamed of being an adult dancer but could not because of her massive size. She was so large that when she would weigh herself she had to go to an industrial weigh station. She had stopped taking her weight years ago; only estimates were possible as to how much she currently weighed. But now she had the stage, she had the control to do as she pleased. She would make her dreams come true and become a pole dancer. She would not advertise the performance to her regular perverts, she would surprise them. 

Then came the night of her first performance. The busty one was nervous, but she had been practicing her moves in front of a mirror for the past week. Her time had come to make her fantasies a reality. At 9 p.m. sharp the lights went down and a curtain was pulled back which revealed a stage and a specially reinforced pole made from warship grade steel. The spotlight shone and the perverts in the crowd begun to howl and whistle. Then the music started, "um sah, um sah, um sah," the music sounded. Then she appeared dressed in black lingerie. The men were speechless. This was not what they had expected. The howling and whistling in the room had stopped. But the busty one was just about to begin...

The beat of the song picked up its pace as the busty one swirled around the pole creating a draft in the room. The pole bent into a bow and almost to the point of snapping. The music got faster and the busty one started shake with violent movements. She moved quickly but seductively for a woman of her size. The men started to howl once again, throwing pennies at her on stage. One piece after another of her clothing came off. The music intensified with heavier bass and the tempo reached a frenzied peak as the busty one was dripping sweat. Several men in the front row were drooling and frothing at the mouth.

Then she collapsed on the floor. The building shook. Then above the restaurant there was loud high pitched squeal. The men ran to the windows. It was the mothership. A bright shaft of light shone on the restaurant and cut a hole in the roof. Then with an unknown magnetic force the busty one was raised from the stage and sucked into the bowels of the mothership. As quickly as the mothership had arrived it was gone. 

Then a few days later there was an incident in a farmer's field near the restaurant. The mothership had returned. Hundreds gathered to watch what was going to happen next. The ship hovered over the field at an altitude of about 200 feet with its ear piercing high pitched squeal. The bowels of the ship opened and people stared with anticipation, hoping to possibly be abducted as well. 

Out of the bowels stretched a pole extending itself to the earth. The pole being made from the strongest alloy known to extra terrestrial life. Then she appeared alive and naked on the platform. It was the busty one, she was still alive. She grabbed onto the pole and began to slide down in a swirling motion, at one point hanging upside down. Then the pole began to bend and she hung on for dear life as she pulled down on the mothership. The ship started to tilt back and forth. Little green men appeared on the platform hollering at her in a strange language, likely telling her to let go. Finally her weight was too much for the pole and it snapped and she slammed to the earth which caused a ripple effect of earthquakes, tsunamis and the earth tilted on its axis, altering the gravity. The mothership spun out of control and started smoking and crashed into the earth. The little green men who survived jumped out of the burning ship and ran into the woods to hide. Other green men lay dead and still others ran screaming as they were on fire. 

The busty one, also known as the one ton pole dancer lay dead. Then there was a tremor, then another and finally one that was the mother of quakes which split the earth in half and that was the end of existence and that was the end of everything.