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OFFBEAT / DARK HUMOR STORIES

My Secretary

9/30/2020

 
​I was fortunate enough at my job to have a secretary to take care of all of my clerical duties which can often bog down a manager at his or her job. I was also very blessed to have a secretary that was not only intelligent and efficient but also stunningly beautiful. She was dressed to perfection; nothing about her or her work was out of place. Matilda was the dream secretary. 
​At least I thought she was until one day I was walking by her office and I heard somebody moaning loudly, "Harder, harder, give it to me, the maximum." 

I stood by her door and listened in disbelief for a few more seconds as the moaning continued. I then decided to walk in to her office and see her reaction, but she didn't have one. She merely kept on staring at the screen like a sex crazed maniac. After nearly thirty seconds I finally waved my hand in front of her face a couple of times and she finally snapped out of her porn trance. She looked at me like I had caught her hand in the cookie jar, she then smiled. Her face was red and she made a weird gurgling noise in response to me standing there. 

I shook my head and said, "That is something we shouldn't be doing on company time."

She said she was sorry and I left the office. 

I called the company computer tech that night for him to check on what she had been searching at work and what she might be hiding. He got back to me later that night saying that my secretary, Matilda, was addicted to porn.

I talked to her the next day and she admitted that she had a problem. I asked her if she wanted to get help from a counselor and she said she would. 

The company paid for her to spend a month on a farm where there was no access to pornographic material. There were other addicts there as well and they would all share their stories of their crippling addictions. Everything from arthritis in their hands to near blindness were only some of their stories.

She came back a month later and we monitored her computer use and she was porn free . 

Then one day my assistant, Steve, was talking to someone on the phone and as soon as he saw me he hung up quickly. He had a guilty look on his face for some reason and left my office abruptly. My phone rang again thirty seconds later and before I had a chance to say hello my secretary's voice purred on the line, "And then, Steve, I want to feel your hips thrust as you plunge into my love channel."

I cut her off and said, "Matilda, it's me, your manager. Steve is gone. " 

She hung up. 

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  • HOME
  • STORIES AND POEMS
    • Unearthly Horror
    • Horrors Of The Mind
    • Mystical Experiences Of Horror
    • Holy Horror
    • Monsters Of The Mind
    • Dimensional Horror
    • Deviant People
    • Agrarian Horror
    • Occult Horror
    • Hard Boiled Horror
    • Horrors Of The Hand And Fate
    • Horrifying Powers Of The Mind
    • The Horror Of Magic
    • Fallacies and Tricks Of The Mind
    • Carnival Of Horror
    • Mature Horror
    • Horrors Of The Unknown
    • Manifestations Of Horror
  • ABOUT
  • CONTACT
  • SHOP
    • T-SHIRTS
    • HOODIES
    • CANVAS ART
    • MUGS
    • BY SERIES
    • SHOP ALL