Losing My Faculties

​Beyond the circle of fire that wrapped around my head I tried to restore my state of mind from the fervent delirium of tremors and a burning fever to a sense of normalcy. Was it that my mind danced on the burning wooden road to insanity? Is it possible to bathe in fire to cleanse one's soul? Is it possible? 

​To lose all of one's mental possessions in a mental fire and to walk along an unknown path to a graveyard which was overgrown with weeds and moss. But yet at this graveyard it appeared in my mind that all the tombstones were on fire. I walked through the deplorable sight of burning corpses running and screaming through the maze of tombstones. Why was everything I saw on fire in my mind?

Near by was a burning pine forest where I was watched by wood goblins that hid behind trees. My mind became tired and I lay down in behind a pine and took a nap. I dreamed of my childhood and pondered my life. Why and how was I such a poor, miserable, wretched excuse for a human? I then wondered: Is it possible to suffocate in my dreams? Is it possible? 

My mind ached with mournful complaints of former times. In the past I believed that I was possessed with the blood of the Devil. At times I felt I had found the meaning of my past life as I was seized by whispers of an old wench who had not known sex in life. She grabbed me by the collar and flattened me over the head which resulted in a concussion and short term memory loss and I knew I had been sexually violated as I awoke with my pants off. Then my dysfunctional mind wondered: Is it possible to live life by memories alone? Is it possible? 

I am now old and decrepit. How should I die as an old man? How do I pass my remaining time? Do I escape the weariness by hiding in the forest like I have done the majority of my life? I have been preyed upon by grief my whole existence, I am a man who is tired of life. Tired to being forced to live when it would be so much easier to die. I have resisted sins of the flesh. Where is my final destination? Will I merely become a puffed up corpse floating haphazardly down the river? I have spent my life searching for the iridescent rainbow of life and happiness, but I know it has passed. Is it possible to find an unearthly heavenly rainbow? Is it possible? 

Old age is of no joy. I want to leap out of my skin, weep for joy and get a second chance on life, leaving my old self behind. I began to laugh and could not stop. My life had been a complete waste and a total joke. I laughed so hard it hurt. Is it possible to die by laughing at one's pathetic life? Is it possible? I laughed harder and harder. Soon I could not breath, I had an incredible pain in my chest and that's when my heart stopped... 

When they found me dead at least I died with a smile on my face. Is it possible to die with a smile on my face? Is it possible?