The Exorcist

​My first cousin was an Orthodox priest.
A man who didn't seem to be troubled in the least.

​He performed the duties of a professional exorcist.
For people with symptoms of a cerebral cyst.

Then he told me one day he could cast an evil spell.
And he worried that he could be sending people indirectly to hell.

He thought he might be a sorcerer or wizard too.
There was also a rumor that he could even concoct a witch's brew.

Then for years it seemed that he had disappeared from this land. 
When I found him he lived in a rock he had chiseled by hand. 

He ran at me like a madman straight out of hell.
That's when I noticed his evil smell.

He ran right past me into the night.
I looked in his cave, what a ghastly site.

All around me was nothing but feces and rats.
And something moved underneath one of his hats.

I stepped on the hat to crush the vermin.
Suddenly he appeared with an axe shouting a sermon.

He railed on about my imminent death. 
That's when I dropped dead from his odious breath.