Harold Krause grew in the household and in the environment of very simple and frugal parents. Nothing was wasted and everything was saved. When they went grocery shopping the family only bought the poorest quality of goods. Fruit was usually picked out of a dumpster from a local restaurant or grocery store and turned into jam. Meat was of low grade fatty quality and there were never any type of sweets or luxuries in the household. Sweets were no good his mother said because it would do nothing more than rot his teeth and raise the dentist's bill. Some might think that because the family was so cheap and frugal that they liked to indulge in the realm of five finger discounts, but they never did because they believed in honesty. They would go through garbages for food because they believed it to be a crime and a sin to throw it away, so to them this was not stealing.
The Krause family was large with Harold, his two parents and eight brothers and sisters. They economized everything. Clothes were passed down, school books were reused, everything was shared. Interesting of note was how the family took baths. The babies were bathed first, then bathing process went from youngest to oldest. Harold being the third in line. But there was one catch to the bathing process and that was the tub was filled once and everyone used the same water. The father explained that a shower was a waste of water and ran up the water bill as the person in the shower would simply stand there for minutes feeling the water sooth their body, but that was not the purpose of washing up. Washing up was only to get clean. Harold hated this, because by the time he got to the bath the water was filthy with little crusty poops from the baby's bums floating around. But there was one thing that Harold hated even more and that was the economizing of toilet water which I will not go into detail.
Both of his parents worked. His father worked the graveyard shift at a plastics factory and his mom worked cleaning rooms at a rooming house. All of the children once 10 years old were required to get a newspaper route and when they turned 15 they would be required to get a part time job after school. All of the money made by the family went to the father and he decided how it would be spent. The family had no t.v. and no computer. They had also never been on a vacation and playing or watching sports was forbidden. The family had also never been to a restaurant.
At 18 all of the kids were required to move out which Harold did gladly. But for the rest of his life 25% of his income had to go back to his parents.
Uneducated, Harold's choices of employment were limited and his father told him the only way to get through life was to grab the right end of the shovel. Harold decided to work on an assembly line that manufactured pre fabricated window frames. This was in particular a dreamless occupation but it was one that paid the bills.
Harold had little interest in girls and the few dates that he had he stressed out over paying the bill so he gave up on dating at 21. But it was also hard for him to get a date because he was wearing third hand clothes and his toes sticking out of his shoes. He also only showered once a month to watch the water bill. One girl he dated commented that he smelled like roast beef, but this failed to phase him.
At the age of 30 he was still working at the same job for the same pay because it was steady work. He thought about taking a vacation but reasoned the cost would be too great. He had accumulated nearly 250,000 dollars in savings. By his early 40s he felt that he had nothing to look forward to. He was bored with his job, he had no friends and no girlfriend. Then his parents died and the inheritance was split. His parents requested no funeral because of the expense and their bodies were buried in a shallow grave in a cheap pine box.
That's when Harold realized that was what he wanted to look forward to. A nice funeral with a nice service, a luxurious coffin with coffee and donuts after the service. Oh yes! A granite headstone with an inscription, not the wooden cross his parents had.
Harold now had something to look foward to in life: his funeral. The rest of his life passed by without any incidents. He died at the age of 81 with over 2 million in savings. His siblings like hawks went for the inheritance, but he had spent it all on a luxury funeral. He had an architect design a million dollar granite shrine to his life. This was a shrine to an extremely mediocre man in all elements of his life.
Nobody came to the funeral not even his family. But all of his brothers and sisters came to post funeral lunch for a free meal, to stuff as many donuts in their jackets and to hourde as much food as they could.