The Man Who Would Never Die

​Why is it in life that there can be a newborn baby that dies only a couple of hours after birth? Yet there then can be a man that abuses himself and others but lives to one hundred years of age? Why is that? Is it fate or destiny? Maybe the man that abuses and lives until one hundred gets punished in the afterlife and the baby that dies hours after birth has a beautiful life in the heavens. 

​Now I would like to introduce the main character in this story. His name is Pete Kulak. This man was a farmer and this story takes place in 1952 in a farming community in Alberta, Canada. 

Pete Kulak is a drunk. He drinks every day and not cheap beer but the hard stuff like whiskey and vodka. Since the age of 14 when he raided his grandfather's liquor cabinet he has been hooked. It was as if having one drink set off an addiction in his body. Now he was out of control and couldn't stop. It was in his blood and he needed it every day, multiple times a day. Once he tried to stop and it felt like something had taken control of his body with sweats, shivers, shakes and uncontrollable twitching. 

When Pete was sixteen, one night he was drinking and climbed up to the top of grain silo and fell into it and sunk to the bottom. His father quickly drained the silo, and assumed that his son would have suffocated to death, but somehow Pete managed to survive. 

When he was 18 Pete went into a small town and drank himself silly. He drove home and then hopped on a tractor, not to do any work because Pete didn't believe in working, but just to drive around aimlessly on the farm field. While driving he passed out and slumped over the steering wheel. The weight of his body pulled the wheel to one side and there for over an hour he drove in circles, passed out on the wheel. Finally the slumped body fell out of the tractor which drove over him. Miraculously the only injury Pete sustained was a broken leg and the consequence that he would be walking with a limp for the rest of his life. 

A couple of years later, again gooned, Pete was walking home from a party drunker than a skunk when he passed out in the ditch. It was -40 outside that night when they found him. He had been laying there semi passed out looking at the stars for almost 6 hours when he was found. They took him to the hospital where he recovered with some frost bite. The doctor said he had stayed alive due to the excessive alcohol in his body which prevented him from freezing. 

In his thirties Pete was on a piece of farm equipment and again he was drunk. This time the piece of equipment was a disc plow, a machine that digs into the earth with dozens of sharp discs so the earth can be seeded. For some reason he thought that while the machine was moving it would be a good idea to stand up and urinate. He couldn't get his fly open, so he looked down and started wrestling with it and ended up bending over and somersaulting off the front of the disc plow which rode over him, cutting him in four places, but he lived. The disc plow continued on down the field where it veered off the farm land and became stuck on a train track. 

At the age of 41 he again was up on top of a grain silo with a metal pole. He swung the pole into the air and hit a power line and electrocuted himself, falling off the silo breaking his back. He was in a wheelchair for six months but resumed walking after that period. He also received nasty burns from the electrocution. His head had large craters in it and he had lost three and a half fingers, but he was still alive.

Finally one winter's night he was drinking while on a hiking expedition in the north pole. He decided to walk on top of a snowdrift without any snowshoes and fell through the snow. 

150 years later...

He was found by scientists and they thawed his body. By this time medicine became increasingly advanced with the freezing process. Once he thawed they were able to stimulate his frozen heart and brain and repair all the previous damages to his body. They were shocked with level of alchohol in his body, so they drained all of it out of his system. And their, Pete Kulik, once again had a new lease on life but he needed a drink so badly so he went to a bar and said, "Give me a bottle of whiskey."

The bartender said, "Sorry sir, but alchohol has been banned on earth for over 100 years."

Pete stepped out into the street, his senses were impaired due to a lack of alcohol and he was hit by a bus. This time he died.